seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
