If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
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