they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
