I smell stomach acid.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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