Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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