Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I still have a little drunk in my system
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
