Me too!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
