oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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