Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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