My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
