Tell her she can't have a vagina
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
