I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I touched a dick in church today
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
