We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just found puke in my bra..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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