SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
