You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
