i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize