If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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