ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
