I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
