I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
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I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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