somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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