We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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