but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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