fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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