put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
