the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
