So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
