He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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