Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize