dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
