sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
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my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
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He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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