I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize