the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
