none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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