Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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