So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
