I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Never joke about your clitoris.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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