Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's just like the Real World with babies
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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