Where are you?
In a non slutty way
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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