are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
