he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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