Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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