There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
