I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
