I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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