he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize