He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
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