the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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