how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
