Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
