Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
