you guys were way drunker than both of me
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
