i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
