You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
It's just like the Real World with babies
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
