What a fucking waste of an outfit
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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