Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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