His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
