so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
