K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
